


The Coronation of an Average Joe

by Silver_Shortage_in_Markarth



Category: Critical Depth (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, I don't know what the aliens are called
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-28 16:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15053120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Shortage_in_Markarth/pseuds/Silver_Shortage_in_Markarth
Summary: For too long, they have sought the chosen one that will rule over them all.Now, after eons of searching and hoping, they have finally found him.(basically just a novelization of Joe's ending)





	The Coronation of an Average Joe

_ "People of Earth. You have summoned us from across space and time, and we have heard your call.  _

_ By activating our threshold devices, you have demonstrated that you possessed a reasonable degree of intelligence, and thus have proven yourselves worthy of our presence.  _

_We have received your intentions and desires from across the void, and we shall reward you accordingly. _

**_ Prepare for our arrival." _ **

* * *

 

Joe had exited the water and reached dry land, just as the beam of light shot out from beneath the waves. Its undulating sound that accompanied it could almost be seen alongside it. 

Somehow, Joe managed to briefly tear his sight away to run over and grab a nearby towel. He didn't really want to be a complete sopping mess once he met these aliens. 

Then came the spaceships. Unable to believe his eyes, Joe pulled down his sunglasses and looked over them. 

"Whooooaaaa..." Was really all he could say. 

As the spaceships reached the ground, Joe stepped closer to them, careful to keep his Death Sled in between them just to be safe. 

Once they were all down before him, he pushed his sunglasses back up and grinned at the new arrivals. 

Numerous aliens emerged in groups, the presumed leader taking his own sweet time to join them all.  While he waited for him, Joe noticed something strange.

All the aliens that had already come out were taking on poses of awe, from kneeling to flat out kowtowing before him. Some of them could be heard speaking in a language Joe didn't understand. 

Finally, the head alien revealed himself, walking slowly down the path to stand before Joe, his eyes remaining closed as he did so.  The whole time, Joe didn't stop grinning. 

"What up, alien dude?" It seemed fair to give this guy a proper Earth welcome. 

The head alien opened his eyes and gazed upon the man before him. His large green eyes widened alongside his mouth opening likewise, and he too fell to his knees.  Joe could only tilt his head in confusion at this. 

"Human," he spoke in a voice containing some kind of echoing effect, "tell us the name you go by."

There didn't seem to be any harm in telling them this. 

"My friends call me Joe." He paused. "Joe Skullion." He made sure to play it cool, of course. 

"Joe Skullion," the alien went on, "Please embark with us back to our home planet. It is there that we shall reward you handsomely."

...

In no time at all, Joe found himself in a completely different realm. 

"This is where you alien dudes live?" He asked in amazement upon exiting the spacecraft. "That is totally righteous!"

The alien walked ahead a few feet, his small arms clasped behind his back. 

"Come," he said to him. "We have all been anticipating your arrival." 

Joe wanted to ask how word spread so quickly, but then just shrugged it off and followed. 

Outside, an enormous group of even more aliens were seen.  Some of them parted to allow Joe and the head alien to pass.  Walking through, Joe could see one of the aliens holding a towel eerily similar to his own. He kept going, though, lifting up his sunglasses to make sure they weren't messing with his vision. 

Joe was stopped by the head alien, who gestured towards a large stone throne, urging him to take a seat.  As he did, draping his towel over one of the armrests, the alien spoke once more, revealing the reason he'd been brought here. 

"You are our chosen one!" He told him in his oddly soothing voice. "Only you, who wear the sacred tie-dye, have passed our test!"  


Then he turned to address the crowd of aliens. "We have found our king, and leader, at last!" Finally, he gestured to the planet around them all, referring to Joe once again:  "The cosmos is yours to do with, as you please!" 

Hearing this, Joe put on a huge smile, and addressed the aliens himself. 

"Well then!" He shouted out to everyone, giving the thumbs up. "For my first command as your most excellent king, I decree...Surf's up!" 

...

From then on, the alien race enjoyed a most prosperous age of cosmic surfing, under the rule of King Joe, their chosen one. 


End file.
